ME AND MY MOTHER

[Ebonie]

I just need some much needed advice on how to handle a tough situation in going through. I am 27-years-old and my mother is 51-years-old. Well, I just want you all to pray with me for my mother. She and I do not get along at all, but its mainly HER not caring too much for ME. I dont know what it is about me that she hates, but she never talks to me in a nice way, she's never encouraged me, had faith in me, or anything. And the bad thing about it is that we live together! I have 2 young sons (ages 2 and 19 months), and she acts like my children just drive her insane and truthfully, they dont. They're just being toddlers! I am in the process of getting my own place, but until that time comes we are here with her and I feel very uncomfortable here. I have a younger sister who is 20-years-old and my mom loves her to death! And honestly, I am happy that my sister has my mothers love because its a beautiful thing to have, but I just dont have it. It hurts a lot though. I have never in my life heard my mother say that she loves me, I've never gotten a hug, or any kind of affection. Also, she makes fun of me turning my life over to Christ by saying things like, "oh you're so holy now" or phrases of that nature. I know she loves my children a lot, but I dont think she ever loved me. I'm always getting cursed at or put down emotionally. Again, I never done anything bad in life for her to be this way. I just need someone to tell me what i need to do about this. I love her so much.

[amages5]

I know you are getting your own place, I think that will help alot. Another thing, instead of waiting on her to say "I love you" I continued to tell my mom I loved her and show her acts of kindness. I have felt the same way but I didn't know exactly what it was. I was looking for something when one day my mom told me she loved me. My expression was kind of like "what" I was really shocked but realized it was something I long to hear from my mom, although I knew she loved me. For some reason maybe she don't know how to show or tell you she loves you and it may not be no fault of your own. Just continue to pray, God know our hearts desire before we ask and He loves us enough to provide that. I always desired a relationship with both parents because my grandparents raised me and I would try to do the work of building that relationship to make it the way I wanted it to be. My parents wasn't mean or anything but in God's timing it has come together. But my prayer is for God to continue to feel every void in my life and mend every broken relationship. Sometimes even our parents have life situations and don't realize their responses. God bless you and he will surely supply your every need :) Continue to be blessed, love your mom inspite of and show her much love, things will change. You will see the fruit!!

[Demetria]

Ebonie, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through with your mom. There are probably some things that lie underneath the surface that your mom struggles with, and although it's no excuse for her being so unaffectionate with you, it may explain some things.
For now...be glad that you are on your way out into your own place. You have to do what is best for you and your children and for your own sanity, especially when in an emotionally abusive state.
However, as you go through this process, remember to keep God's love for her at the forefront of your mind. Not how you are feeling at the moment. I know it's tough-- especially when she makes fun of your faith and treats your sister more caringly than she does you. It is unjust...but allow her to see Christ's love working through you during this time. You'll have to stay on top of things emotionally and stay strong, but you can do it. And when you do move out it will be a relief to you.
But for now, stay strong ok? The Lord will fight your battle. You let her see Jesus in you. Then practice forgiveness.
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