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Talk To the Children
I am a mom/wife with a blended family.
Unless you've learned how to have a blended family throughout your entire life this process is not going to be easy.
What do you need to do?
1. Talk to each other; the new husband the new wife. As corny as it sounds, you have to talk; sit down, write things down, plan out your life: TOGETHER.
This conversation, especially when children are involved should not be one sided. This should be an intimate conversation of minds that love one another and have each others' best interest at heart.
So you've had the conversation that brings you closer together and allows you to see what each other wants in YOUR future. You find out what you expect and want from your children as you become one family. You move the conversation to the children.
These young ladies and gentlemen are part of the new oneness that was formed in the marriage: The new family.
All of these children (if you are blended from both sides) are important to your family growth. You have to talk to them about your dreams and visions and what you want for them, but also what you expect from them.
Talking to your children is not belittling you; it is helping them.
Children learn to talk and share when spoken to in the same manner. Even though, the first step is easy, the conversation; the next step is not.
After the conversation you have to LIVE
Moms and dads, you have to love one another despite your faults. You must show love and share love, so
that each child can do the same in and around the family.
Moms--you must respect Dad's lead; even if he's crazy at times; don't break him down in from of the children.
Dads--Moms are your help meet. Protect them and understand them as the multi-taskers that they are and don't reject them in front of the children.
Children--respect your moms and dads(all of them step-parents or not) They only have your best interest at heart.
Personal Note: I knew nothing about having a positive blended family. Our family broke up many times; pray is helping pull it together.
Unless you've learned how to have a blended family throughout your entire life this process is not going to be easy.
What do you need to do?
1. Talk to each other; the new husband the new wife. As corny as it sounds, you have to talk; sit down, write things down, plan out your life: TOGETHER.
This conversation, especially when children are involved should not be one sided. This should be an intimate conversation of minds that love one another and have each others' best interest at heart.
So you've had the conversation that brings you closer together and allows you to see what each other wants in YOUR future. You find out what you expect and want from your children as you become one family. You move the conversation to the children.
These young ladies and gentlemen are part of the new oneness that was formed in the marriage: The new family.
All of these children (if you are blended from both sides) are important to your family growth. You have to talk to them about your dreams and visions and what you want for them, but also what you expect from them.
Talking to your children is not belittling you; it is helping them.
Children learn to talk and share when spoken to in the same manner. Even though, the first step is easy, the conversation; the next step is not.
After the conversation you have to LIVE
Moms and dads, you have to love one another despite your faults. You must show love and share love, so
that each child can do the same in and around the family.
Moms--you must respect Dad's lead; even if he's crazy at times; don't break him down in from of the children.
Dads--Moms are your help meet. Protect them and understand them as the multi-taskers that they are and don't reject them in front of the children.
Children--respect your moms and dads(all of them step-parents or not) They only have your best interest at heart.
Personal Note: I knew nothing about having a positive blended family. Our family broke up many times; pray is helping pull it together.
Tags: and, blended, dads, extension, faith, family, husband, interest, love, marriage
Comment
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Comment by Demetria on October 21, 2009 at 10:43am -
I love everything you said here, Dana. Chidren - respecting the parents. Dads, protecting moms, Moms-don't break down the dads in front of the kids.
This is exactly what Paul was talking about - setting the household in order, for God's glory.
Thank you for this post!
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